Taking Chances

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions within Vietnam adoption community. I follow several adoption blogs and chat rooms--frustration, anxiety, and panic fill people's posts. I'm not here to defend my adoption or add to the issues at hand. I respect those who have chosen to speak out about their feelings on the current problems with this program. I have decided to keep my opinion on this topic private. I will not defend my agency or criticize others about the agencies they have chosen. I will say that I pray that we all find peace within our own journeys and keep our hearts pure and open.

I've been trying to roll with the punches and be as optimistic as I can. From the start of this process, I have felt such assurance from deep within that our sweet baby will be home. Day after day, my assured confidence slowly started to chip away with each new piece of unsettling news. The fact is, we don't know how this will all unfold. It's up to our government and a country that is culturally different than the US. We all feel so vulnerable and willing to grasp at the littlest piece of good news that comes our way--dissecting it and making it much bigger to give us that peace that everything will be all right.

I'm not proud to say that over the last week or so, I've been feeling like our baby from Vietnam will not come home. Instead of digging for that assurance trapped somewhere within, I chose to come up with a "Plan B". My Plan B consisted of spending hours on the internet looking for waiting children from different agencies, different countries. I know there are so many children out there "waiting" to come home. My own daughter, who we adopted from China in 2005, was on such a list. My panic button was telling me to jump ship and head towards higher ground....adopt a waiting child. As I combed through the lists, looking at the beautiful faces of children in need--I suddenly realized that although I have a heart for all orphans...MY CHILD is in Vietnam. For the first time in weeks, I feel confident that God will continue to see us through this journey, as He has done from the very start. My husband and I never thought we'd be going through this process again. We have three amazing sons and a beautiful daughter. Our house is busting at the seams! God laid this fifth child on our hearts and we know she is meant to be here. So...

I'm back to Plan A! I'm taking chances. Putting full faith in God that He will bring home the child He designed for our family. The stakes are high, but we're pushing all our faith to the middle of the table...taking our chances that everything will be just fine.

I love the song in the video clip below. My daughter's latest music interest is Celine Dion...she just loves her! I thought it was fitting that the song is about taking chances, jumping off the edge--not knowing if there is solid ground below...perfect.